


In through a window out through a door

by yukiawison



Category: Newsies (1992)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 10:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2544098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiawison/pseuds/yukiawison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack Kelly seems incapable of using the front door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In through a window out through a door

He always came through the window. I’d told him a million times that he could just go through the door like everyone else. I even offered him a key so he had a place to say if he ever needed it.

He turned it down. I guess it’s a pride thing. I’m not too worried though. Jack Kelly can take care of himself. He sells more papes a day then Les and I combined, and we’re…well Les is a natural at spinning the headlines.

  
"Hey there Davey," Jack said, climbing through the open window with his customary smirk.

  
"Hey Jack," I said, closing my book and tucking my pencil behind my ear. "Long time no see huh?"

  
"Sorry bout that Davey. Old Joe’s papes are a tougher sell nowadays. And with you back at school there ain’t enough hours in the day."

  
"It’s alright," I replied, grinning back at my best friend. His hair was tousled in a floppy unwashed mess, and his shirt was partially unbuttoned. "I missed you."  
He grinned wider and I was glad I’d said it. I wished he’d always smile like that.

  
"Well of course you missed me Davey. I keep ya from wastin away studyin." He sat down on my bed and unlaced his shoes. "It’s burning hot in here," he slicked back his hair and pulled off his shirt. "That’s better."

  
There’s a feeling I’ve been having for awhile now. I think I’m coming down with a cold. My heart starts pounding so hard I can hear it, and my face gets flushed like Jack’s did that time when he caught Race’s cough. He doesn’t help when he barges in like that. He makes my cold worse.

  
"You alright there Davey?" He asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

  
"I’m fine," I said with a start. "I think I’m catching a cold."

  
He gave me a look of concern, but caught himself before it could progress to worry. “Well you can sell more papes that way. A blessing in…what’s tha word?” He crossed his arms, furrowing his brow slightly.

  
"Disguise," I finished, my heart beat returning to its normal pace. I think he does that just to lighten the mood sometimes. I didn’t realize at first, but correcting Manhattan’s favorite newsie makes me feel better. He can have charm if I get grammar.

  
"Do you want to stay for dinner?"

  
"Naw, I don’t wanna bother ya. He ran his hand over the back of his neck and looked to the floor.

  
"Come on, I hardly see you now that I’m back in school."

  
He shuffled his feet nervously, like the house was suffocating him. The house was hot, but it wasn’t that hot.

  
"We could eat on the roof. My parents won’t mind," I said quickly, before he climbed back out the window. He was about to, I could see it in the way his hands didn’t stop twitching.

  
"Alright," he said, reaching for his shirt. "But just cause I haven’t seen ya since last Thursday." I laughed.

  
"That long?"

  
His face got kind of red and he looked down again. “It’s not like I’m countin the days er anything.”

  
"I’ll ask my family," I replied, confused, ducking behind the curtain that separated my bed from the kitchen.

  
I came back with two sandwiches wrapped in paper and handed one to Jack, who had his shirt and shoes on again.

  
"Come on, let’s get out of here," I grabbed his hand and led him out the window onto the fire escape.

  
”So how is school Dave?” Jack asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

  
"Fine," I mumbled, lying. I got a hard time for working as a newsie on the weekends. But I needed the money. There was no use complaining to Jack. At least I got to go to school.

  
Jack probably sensed the fact that I wasn’t telling the truth because he stiffened.

Swallowing his sandwich quickly so he could speak again. “If ya need me to take care of anyone fer ya Davey I’d be happy ta,” he growled. “No one can push ya around on my watch,” he continued, softer.

  
"I’m fine Jack," I snapped.

  
Jack leaned back, folding his arms under his head and leaning back on the concrete, warmed from the sun. His face was sunburnt, I noticed. He should wear his hat more often to keep the sun off his face. I was going to tell him so but he’d probably just think I was nagging. “Whateva ya say Davy,” he’d say and proceed to ignore my advice. I’d get Sarah to tell him.

  
He stared up at the sky like it was home. We could see a few stars now and I stretched out beside him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get mad.”

  
"S’alright," he replied. "You can take care of yourself anyways."

  
"Sky’s big huh?" he said, his voice getting all soft and dreamy like when he talked about Santa Fe.

  
I hummed noncommittally in response, rolling up my sleeves against the humid air.

  
"Why don’t you ever come through the front door?"

  
"Huh?"

  
"You always come through the window."

  
"Oh, well…naw it’s nothin," he didn’t meet my eyes.

  
"Do you not like coming over?" I said weakly. "Do you come through the window so you can leave quicker?"

  
"No!" He sat up, looking down at me with worry. "Naw Davey it ain’t that. It couldn’t never be that."

  
I held off on correcting him because of the look on his face. Like it was the end of the world if what I’d thought was true.

  
"What is it then Jack?"

  
He stood up and walked to the roof’s edge. “I dunno David it’s nothing.”

  
I got up and followed him.

  
"I’m going to stay here until you talk Kelly. Don’t think I won’t."

  
He sighed, and my heart started beating faster again. He looked tired, and I could see the ink stains on his fingers when he ran his hand through his hair.

  
"I’m not part of ya family Davey. I shouldn’t use the front door. I shouldn’t feel so welcome ya know?"

  
"Why not?" I replied, my voice rising.

  
He shrugged. ” Well I’m gonna be gone soon. Best not to get too attached. Alls I needs a few more dollars then I’m outta this city,” he said bitterly. “No use gettin too attached to people. I mean I know I’ll miss the guys but with you I…”

  
"What? I thought we were talking about my…"

  
"House, yeah. I can’t go gettin a home, that’s what I meant."

  
He looked at me, face flushed from the heat. “I’m not your family Davey.”

  
"I’m not like a brother to you?" I don’t know why I asked. It was one of those things he was always saying about Crutchie, Specs and the others. Newsies were family. If I wasn’t family then what was I?

  
"Is this all because I only come selling on weekends now? Because I wish I got to go out more often but it’s not up to…"

  
"Naw Davey, it’s not anything you’ve done. It’s not that I don’t love you like family it’s…"

  
"What?" He froze.

  
"I…" He took a step back. My cold was coming back. It made my brain fuzzy. Well that’s the best excuse I’ve got for it. Jack Kelly’s my best friend. I kissed my best friend.

  
"I’m sorry," was the first thing that came out of my mouth, feverishly, because I was clearly sick…and dear god I hoped hallucinating.

  
"Fer what?" he replied, looking dazed.

  
"For…" He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine again, and I had to be hallucinating because Jack Kelly’s ink stained hands were in my hair.

  
"This is wrong. No we can’t do this. You’re my best friend!"

  
"I am?" He grinned. "That’s awful sweet Davey."

  
My eyes were wide. “What are you saying? Why aren’t you mad? What…?”

  
"Why would I be mad?" He replied cooly.

  
"Because we can’t do this. We can’t!" My mouth was moving on its own again spouting out random phrases that should’ve been right but clearly weren’t.

  
"Why?" He asked honestly.

"Believe me, I’ve been ponderin that question along with a bunch of others fer a few weeks now and that’s the only one I haven’t answered," he smiled slightly.

"I’ve got the rest of them. Like whether your cold is like the cold I had where my symptoms only showed up round you. Or why I missed you more than anyone else when you’re gone fer the day. And how I do everything I can to pass by your place when I’m sellin papes. I’ve figured out why to all those questions the only think I don’t know is why not. So why not Davey?"

  
"I…" My breath came too quickly in my throat. He peered at me, arms crossed matter of factly, leaning on the roof edge with a crooked smile on his face.

  
"Why didn’t you tell me?" I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder to stabilize myself.

  
He laughed. “When I played this scene out in my head it didn’t go like that. And ended with you soakin me pretty badly. So excuse me fer lettin you make the first move.”

  
"You thought I was going beat you up?" I replied, stunned.

  
"Like you said, this is wrong or whateva. Why is that again Davey?" He sat down on the roof ledge, hands trembling as he smoothed back his hair again.

  
"Cause if this has ta be over it better be quick," he whispered, trying to sound playful but succeeding only at hurt.

  
"Um…" My thoughts were turning on me, battling dizzily in my brain while Jack’s image blurred in front of me. "Well it’s supposed to be a sin or something isn’t it?" I continued weakly. "People could find out. And we could ruin our friendship or whatever."

  
"You believe all that?"

  
"No," I said, my voice suddenly firm.

  
"No, never."

  
"Then you wouldn’t mind me kissin ya again?"

  
"Not at all," I replied, taking a step forward to close the gap between us. He tasted like tobacco and smelled like sweat and newsprint.

  
"But," I started, pulling away.

  
"No wonder they call ya the walking mouth Davey. What is it?"

  
"You’ve gotta come through the door now Jack. You’re more than family to me."

  
I kissed him again. But again pulled away, cutting him off with my stupid mouth. “And…”

  
"And I’m sure ya wanna talk this whole thing out up here tonight huh?"

  
"Well it’s not like we’ll get cold, and I want to do more than just make out so…"’ I replied nervously.

  
He laughed. “I’m not complainin Davey.”

  
* * * *

  
It was pouring. I was glad I got home when I did because the rain was thundering down on the roof so hard it was giving me a headache. I almost didn’t hear the tap on my window.

  
"Hey there Davey," he slurred. His hair glued to his face, and teeth chattering. Jack Kelly hadn’t been following my suggestion.

  
"Jack! You’re soaking wet. What happened?"

  
"I didn’t sell enough to pay fer a bed. And a few beers are cheaper than a meal so," he laughed, hicupping and falling inside the bedroom.

  
"You’re drunk," I said softly.

  
"Sorry," he replied. "I know you don’t like it when I do that." He was shivering, and I could hear his stomach growl.

  
"Let me get you something to eat," I began, my own stomach churning.

  
"Naw Davey. I know you don’t have food ta spare. You’ll just give me half of your dinner." He wrapped his arms around my waist. "You’re skinny enough as is," he swayed against me, tucking his head into the crook of my neck.

  
"You need to eat something. You’re going to get sick," I laid him down on the bed and went to get him a towel and some food.

  
"What was that?" Sarah asked, from her place by the fire.

  
"Jack’s drunk," I muttered. "And starved, and soaking wet."

  
"Oh god," she set down her knitting to get me a clean towel while I got a loaf of bread out of the cabinet.

  
"Davy, you can keep doing this. When’s the last time you went a day without splitting a meal with him?"

  
"He hasn’t eaten all day Sarah."

  
She sighed but nodded and returned to her knitting.

  
"Okay Jack, eat something," I said, handing him some bread and sitting down beside him.

He was too hungry to protest, stuffing the bread in his mouth before I could say anything else. I wrapped the towel around his shoulders and pulled him close.

  
"God, you’re shivering." He’d gone strangely quiet, and clung to me tighter.

  
"Jack?"

  
When Jack Kelly cries his whole body shakes. No soft tears, big ugly ones that stream down his face. His face gets red and his breath comes in quick gasps. It’s the most pitiful sound I’ve ever heard, made worse because it’s coming from someone I care about. Back then I’d never heard him cry, and it scared me to see him like that.

  
He woke up Les, and he came bounding into the room. ” What’s wrong with Jack?”

  
"He’s just having a rough day Les. You can stay, just keep quiet alright?"

  
"Okay," he leaned his head on Jack’s shoulder. "Jack has a lot of rough days," he sighed.

  
"Yeah," I replied, stroking Jack’s hair.

  
My mother poked her head in, nodded and brought another towel before carrying Les out to give us some privacy. His crying had stopped and his breathing had slowed. Jack Kelly broke down in a storm, and when he was down it was dead silent.

  
"I’ll get you some dry clothes," I got up, moving him gently and grabbing a clean shirt and pants from my drawer.

  
"Just hang you clothes anywhere," I said. "You’re spending the night, don’t argue." I helped him unbutton his shirt and was soon pressed beside him in my bed.

  
"I’m sorry Davey," he said softly, sleepy, drunk, and sniffling.

  
"You’re alright Jack."

  
"I love ya Davey," his voice was hardly a whisper and he curled into me as I tensed.

  
He’d never said that before, and I didn’t think I was ready for him to. It scared me, the love thing, like it meant I was going to get hurt. And not the kind of pain that comes from a swing by one of the Delancy brothers.

  
He didn’t remember what he’d said the next morning. He was real embarrassed about the whole situation. “I won’t bother ya like that again David.”

  
"If you’re having a rough day I want you to bother me okay? I don’t want you to be crying all alone."

  
"I wasn’t cryin."

  
"Of course not."

  
"Thanks anyway Davey."

  
"You’re welcome Jack."

  
He got himself together a week later. He even bought me lunch to apologize, and nagged me until I gained back the weight I’d lost. Which was good. Sarah was right I couldn’t go on sharing food like that.

  
* * * *

  
"Extra extra! Read all about it!" I shouted, waving a pape halfheartedly. I hadn’t seen Jack all day and I was getting restless. My curls drooped into my eyes and I smoothed them out of my face. I missed him. It was crazy but I missed him already after a few hours.

  
"Hey there Davey," Jack grinned, hooking his arm around me.

  
"Jack! I missed you," I looked around, shielding our faces with a pape before stealing a quick kiss.

  
"Whoa, what’s with you?" he replied, ruffling my hair. I shrugged.

  
"I don’t know," I replied. "I just want to be close to you I guess." I flushed at my own stupidity.  
"Well I’m flattered Davey."

"Where’ve you been?"

  
"Helpin Race, he’s got too many papes on his hands. You knows how it is." I nodded.

  
"You wanna go to the diner?"

  
"Of course."

  
"So," Jack said between sips of his soda. "I’ve been thinkin bout boxin fer some extra cash."

  
"What?"

  
"Boxin, like in a ring. Whatdaya think?"

  
"No!"

  
He looked up, genuine surprise on his face. “Why not?” I tried to picture Jack bruised and bloodied. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen him like that. Just the thought of him scarred and broken made my heart wrench.

  
"Because I can’t see you beat up like that. I love you and I can’t see you like that."

  
"What?"

  
"I don’t want to see you…" I stopped. Oh shit, that’s not what he was referring to. "I…"

  
"You love me?" he said quietly, shoulders stiffening.

  
"Yes," I whispered. "I do."

  
He laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. “Well Davey, I…”

  
"Hey, I’m sorry. It just slipped out…"

  
"No, no it’s alright Dave," he threw some money on the table. "I better go. I’ll swing by ya place later." He was gone before I could protest, ducking out of the diner.

  
"Shit," I slammed my hand down on the table. I’d screwed up. I’d let my damn mouth get ahead of me again. I rushed home, kicking a light post on the way out.

  
"I don’t know what to do," I started, pacing in front of Les’s bed.

  
"You could take it back?" He put his chin in his hands and frowned. Les had known about us for a few months now, and didn’t seem to have a problem with his brother dating his favorite cowboy. No one in the family seemed angry or the least bit surprised when they found out.

  
"But I do love him, and want him to know it. I just don’t want to frighten him off."

  
"Jack Kelly needs to man up," Sarah began sternly. "You’ve been together, what six months? And your nearly 18. It’s not like you loving him is anything out of place."

  
I sighed, pacing faster, and glancing out the window. “What if he just never comes over?” I loosened my tie. “God, what if this just done? I couldn’t help the stray tears slipping down my face.

  
"It’ll be alright David."

  
Sarah and Les soon went to bed, with a few more supportive words and hugs. It was getting late.

  
I heard a tap on the window and bolted upright.

  
"Hey Davey." I practically crashed into him.

  
"Jack."

  
"Whoa, what’s the matta?"

  
"I’m sorry. I pushed you too hard. I don’t expect you to love me back. Please don’t leave me.

"Wait, wait. Whatdaya mean leave ya? Why would I leave ya?"

  
"I scared you didn’t I? When I told you I love you? I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking."

  
"Weren’t thinking?" He pushed me away. "Then you don’t feel that way?"

  
"No Jack. I love you. I love you so much the thought that you might not come back makes me sick."

  
"Davey…" He looked uncomfortable again.

  
"Damn it! I’ve got to quit that. I know you don’t love me yet I just…"

  
"No it’s not that," he looked at his shoes.

  
"Huh?" He gritted his teeth and reached a shaking hand into his pocket, and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.

  
"I know I’m not too smart, or mature, or honest," he began reading. "But you make me feel whole Davey. You make

me feel safe and loved and worth something. You’re only one for me. You’re a good friend and an even better kisser. I just…I," His eyes widened. "Shit David."

  
He sat down on the bed, tossing the paper and burying his head in his hands.

  
"I never had someone ta love Davey. I never had ta love before you. I dunno how ta say it. It sticks in my throat and chokes me. I mean it but it makes me sick thinkin bout it."

  
I crouched down in front of him, pulling his hands from his face and kissing him hard.

  
"It’s okay," I murmured. "It’s so very okay," I continued between kisses. "I know what you mean. Just get some liquor on your lips and you’ll say it. I know that already."

  
Jack broke the kiss. “What was that?"

You kind of already said you loved me. You were plastered though."

  
"Oh," he sighed. "I don’t know why it’s so hard. I mean I do love ya. I love ya more than anythin."

He gasped, then grinned and kissed me harder. I ended up curled in his lap in the chair in front of the fireplace.

  
"Davey," I grinned. "Davey I love ya." He whispered. I smiled and opened my eyes. He kissed my neck and nose and lips, and I was kissing him back when I heard my mother clear her throat.

  
"Oh, sorry Ma!" I said with a start, flushing red. "I didn’t…"

  
"It’s quite alright David. You’re perfectly welcome to kiss Jack in front of me. I have no problem with it." I just blushed harder and curled into Jack’s chest, feigning sleep.

  
"You really love my son?" I heard her ask after awhile.

  
"Yes, yes of course I do." I smiled.

  
"You won’t hurt him." More of a statement than a question.

  
"No, never." I clung to him tighter.

  
When he finally left, he went through the front door.

  
* * * *

  
"I’m home!" I called, throwing down my bag and collapsing on the couch.

  
"Hey Davey!" Jack poked his head out of the kitchen and greeted me with a lopsided grin.

  
"Welcome home," he was wearing a tomato stained apron and had flour in his hair. I smiled.

  
"What are you doing Jack?"

  
"Making you dinner. You hungry?"

  
"Yeah," I replied with a yawn. Even though I lived with Jack Kelly it seemed like I hardly saw him. I was in college now, with a part time job taking up the rest of my time. Jack worked as a bartender most nights and when we saw each other it was when I curled up beside him to catch a few hours of sleep. My eyes fluttered closed.

  
"Hey Davey, if you’re too tired we don’t…"

  
"No," I said with a start. "No, you worked so hard." I pulled myself up despite my body’s protests. I’d had my last exam today and had stayed up late after work studying the night before.

  
He kissed me quickly. His mouth tasted like chocolate.

  
"What did you make?" I asked, sinking into a chair at the kitchen table.

  
"Pasta and cookies," he replied. "Kinda burned them though."

  
"It’s alright," I said, leaning my head on my hand and dozing off for a minute.

  
"Davey," he said gently, coming up behind me and easing my head back onto his chest.

  
"You’ve gotta eat somethin Davey, ya haven’t been eatin properly cause of your workin all the time."

  
"I know," I sighed. "And I haven’t been around enough I’m sorry."

  
"Don’t be sorry, just eat my pasta." He set a plate in front of me. I didn’t realize how hungry I’d been until I finished my third helping. He didn’t seem to mind, smiling each time I asked for more.

  
"Okay, you go lay down. I’ll bring you a cookie. I got up, swaying sleepily over to the couch. My eyelids felt even heavier now that my stomach was full.

  
"Here ya go Davey." I ate my cookie before I could get even more tired.

  
"Well ya made it through dinner," Jack said bitterly.

  
I scowled. “I’m doing my best Jack,” I shot back halfheartedly. “I…” My breath caught in my throat as I looked at him. He was older, I suppose it was my first time realizing he wasn’t a teenager anymore. His eyes were hurt and angry and he had dark bags beneath them.

  
"I’m sorry," I said quietly, hardly a whisper. "I’m sorry Jack I…"

  
"You try working nights six nights a week, trying to make a grand gesture when you’re so damn tired! Trying to, trying to…" He stopped.

  
"I’m sorry. You have it so much worse, I…" I cut him off with a kiss.

  
"No Jack it’s my fault," I kissed him again. "It’s been a rough month for both of us," I kissed him harder. "You’re doing your best Jack. I’m so sorry," I was on top of him now pinning him down and trailing kisses along his neck. "You’re so good, and kind, and thoughtful, and I…" Jack’s eyes were closed. It took me a minute to realize he was fast asleep beneath me. I smiled, curling up beside him and breathing in his scent. He smelled like home, like liquor and cigarettes and tomato sauce. I never wanted to get up. He was so warm and soft and made the tiny, cheaply lumpy couch feel comfortable.

  
"I love you Jack Kelly," I whispered. "So very much."

  
When I woke up Jack was curled around me, snoring. I checked my pocket watch. I had to be at work in an hour. “Jack,” I mumbled. “Jackie I’m sorry but I’ve got to get up.” I kissed him and he woke up, smiling sleepily, and kissing me back.

  
"You look so cute right now. You’re hair’s all over the place." I reached up to tame my curls, sitting up in the process. "I’ve got to work."

  
"Naw Davey, your still tired. Lemme go fer ya. I don’t have work today on account of the boss’s birthday. Lemme go Davey."

  
"No, Jack you should rest."

  
He got up. “Naw, I’m goin,” he fixed his bandanna and smoothed the wrinkles from his shirt.

  
"Jack!"

  
"Don’t bother try’na stop me. I’ll see ya after your shift." He was gone before I could protest and I was left alone to think.

  
I thought back to when I first met Jack. The days of the strike where he appears grinning outside my window. I remember how hard I cried the day I thought I’d lost him to Santa Fe. I remember telling my parents about us and them already knowing. It was obvious, Jack Kelly had been the only person I’d talked about since I met him. I remember kissing him on the rooftop and on the fire escape and through the window before going to bed each night. I remember when he finally started coming through the front door, and I knew we serious. Now we had our own front door to go through. Somehow I was still astounded at the fact that he still wanted to kiss me when I came home, and sleep beside me every night. Yet there he was, taking my shift so I could get some extra rest.

  
"I’m back!" He called, staggering wearily through the front door. I tackled him with a hug.

  
"Welcome home Jack."

  
And it was his home, our home.


End file.
